On the subway home from watching Come From Away. It was just such a heartwarming story, so uplifting and faith-in-humanity-restoring, that I kinda wanted to cry the entire time. To see people be so helpful and willing to help. There was a lot of humour and some realism. I loved the Irish music aspects, and the accents, and the dancing, and the use of the stage, and the actors. I found it all so cool, the way they moved things around to create different scenes and characters. I also really loved how the little stories were told and we were informed of the “ending” for each of them – ie. how Hannah’s son died (the most of the musical, she was searching for him).
I tried the juniper latte on my way home. No, don’t get it.
It is the night before my last undergrad final. It has hit me that it is the final term.
I really wish it hadn’t, because now I cannot sleep. It’s a nerve-wracking feeling, there’s a sort of nausea at the back of my throat for the uncertainty that the future holds, there’s a nervous school of fish swimming around in my stomach for the the need to do well on this last final to get into masters, there’s a dizziness for the dress and anxiety that have been in the background that are now taking centre stage, there’s a pounding ache behind my eyelids for the fear of failure. Of disappointment. Of losing university life. Of missing so many of the wonderful friends I’ve made in undergrad.
How does one deal with this? This amalgamation of feelings? Are there exemptions available? Have I attributed these emotions to the right causes? Everything is so taxing.
得到工作的人都说 “不要急，还有下一轮呢” 可是这也是安慰的话。他们不知道这个感觉，犹豫、飘浮的感觉。不知道人生中最重要的前程在哪里 的感觉。